Eerie Indiana

As January draws to a close and flood waters rise around our ankles I would like to invite you to spend your last moments, before embracing the watery death that awaits us all, reading this hogwash... It's episode 6 of the Aldershot Woes Again... Eerie Indiana.

If movies have taught me anything, and they have taught me everything, when something goes down, its in America. From Starman to Taylor Swift and from Close Encounters to Ghost Busters if any sort of other world shenanigans is going to take place it's going to be in good old Uncle Sam's back yard. It was because of this it came as absolutely no surprise to me that the bloody Devil, old red cock himself, Satan the great bastard has shown up in the worlds number one nation the U to the S to the do-you-want-fries-with-that A.

The Devil though being a right sneaky bastard and of questionable moral fiber has taken over a woman's children. Unlike the movie The Omen, where, yes granted, the devil made his appearance in England, but via the rugged American loins of  Gregory Peck, rather than choosing the child of an influential statesman, he has instead cunningly picked the children of an ignorant hick.

Now i would imagine most of you have chosen the path of eternal damnation and don't believe in Jesus or Moses or any of that other brilliant god stuff. You're probably thinking that this is just the kind of deluded bible bullshit you hear about all the time, the irrational ramblings of a mad old bitch forcing her warped ignorant beliefs on her poor stupid and probably ugly children. Well this is where things take a turn for the interesting and you reach for the Gideon's.

This particular possession has been verified by those bastions of morality, honesty and integrity the American Police. If movies have taught me anything, and they have taught me everything, the American Police are the greatest. From John McClain to Frank Drebin American cops are the queen's corgi's cock. They fight corruption, racial intolerance, ignorance and unwarranted violence. If i'm honest if anyone other than an American policeman had verified this, I too would have written it off as the inane dribble of a festering repugnant religious zealot, that should absolutely not be reported on as it serves no purpose than to further delude ignorant morons with superstitious mulch. However as it was a story that children had been possessed by the devil full of eye-witness reports of supernatural goings on that had been rubber stamped by an American policeman, i'm very glad it was reported on in the national press. The return of the devil is clearly a matter of great public interest.

I should imagine than some of you will still not be fully convinced, because if movies have taught me anything, and they've taught me everything, small town American cops can sometimes be utter dicks. Like in Rambo. But if you study the revelations to Moses by god on Mount Senai, the coming of Jesus in Bethlehem or the birth of the Prophet Mohammed in Mecca, all of these events took place in what was, at the time, the least educated and most backwards part of the world. So if a deity was going to make a come back, Gary Indiana would be as good a place as any. Also it's only an Illinois away from the Mormon garden of Eden Missouri, and if you were the devil it would make sense that Missouri would be one of the first places you destroyed.

Anyway, there you have it a ridiculous story about a silly American who believes in demons and possessions. Let's all sit around and laugh at this stupid woman HAHAHA. That stupid woman and her kids who in all likelihood have serious mental illness that isn't going to get treated. Those starred and striped bone heads. Lets all get a good chuckle fix at these backtarded hicks while they practice there baffling religion. I mean its not as if making a big deal of theses kind of stories actually encourages religious zealots to abandon logic and misinterpret a child's medical condition as a demonic possession and then hide behind faith to justify horrendous child abuse. That is unlikely to happen despite it actually being quite common.

The story...

Woe

@defmoss83

Hacksploitation

Hello, and welcome once more to the pointless meandering shit that is my blog The Aldershot Woes Again. A body of work that is on one hand completely full of bollocks and on the other bereft of anything that even comes close to resembling coherent thought. But you're here now so might as well read it. The Aldershot Woes again (TAWA) episode #? - Hacksploitation. 

In places like North Korea or the Peoples Republic of Commy China or one the many terrorist 'Stan nations journalism is a state run industry. This means that whoever controls the government also controls the information that is passed to the people. Which of course means a system of propaganda and agenda lead misdirection, favoring the ruling and undermining and silencing it's critics. I think that many of you would agree, that is a far from ideal situation. 

In sensible English speaking nations such as England or The U.S or Canada, there is such a thing as "the freedom of the press". This means that good old Johnny Journo can print any story he likes about the current government, so long as it proves to be in the public interest. This means that if a politician or state official does something that may be detrimental to the well being of the nation or body that person represents, and therefore may cast aspersions on said nation or body, said incident is reported on, without regard for the consequences. I think that many of you would agree, that is not at all far from an ideal situation. 

 Now however western journalism, at least in the United Kingdom has come to a cross roads. Depending on what happens with the phone hacking scandal, it will either walk proudly on in it's noble quest for truth, or it will be coerced into submission and silenced by the stomping jack boot of an Orwellian government... Some powerful political imagery I want you to dwell on there for just a second... 

Our proud boys and girls of the British tabloid press have for decades risked life and limb to bring us, the Great British public, the real stories of interest each and every Sunday. And not the soft suffering of people in foreign lands (not our problem anyway) or the fluffy corruption of big business (if Starbucks are evil, then why do they sell duffins, my favorite portmanteau snack?). Oh no, these restless renegades of the red-tops brought us stories that weren't always easy to hear. These proud purveyors of paper and pun didn't protect us from the truth when it reared it's ugly head. Where featherweight "journalists" like Pilger or Hitchens dare not tread, these freedom fighters of Fleet Street danced with disregard to bring us, the Great British public, the hard hitting truths. Shattering our illusion of freedom and decimating our very sense of being. 

Who could ever forget the harrowing affairs of Jude Law when his then girlfriend, tepid actress and attractive vacuum Sienna Miller may or mat not have cheated on him. Or the brutal time when Mick Jagger's daughter may or may not have had sex in a night club. 

Stories that touch us like that don't come around very often, stories that change a nation and shape its people. Real, genuine, hard hitting tales that strike a resonance with us, the Great British public. And through out them all the tabloid media has been there, to hold us, to wrap its papery blanket of righteousness around us and tell us that it's going to be OK. 

But now, all of that could be coming to an end. 

I ask you honestly, can you really condemn a tabloid paper for its spurious ethics? Have we fallen so far through the looking glass that we expect our journalists to employ morality and personal emotion to the way they report truth. Can you really sit there and tell me, that truth and fact are objective? What we, the GREAT BRITISH public, demand is no less than concentrated honesty. Unlike Communist countries or militant dictatorships who have there "news" diluted by the fear of repercussion, we are blessed to live in a land where any of our 4 tabloid national dailies can print a story about a rather shit actor who may be being cheated on by his rather shit actress girlfriend without fear of being shot in the face or locked in a tower.

I think we all agree the work of our tabloid press is important and for the good of humanity must continue. But I also understand that in the eyes of many the red-tops crossed a moral and ethical boundary. But I stress this to you, ethics and journalism have no place together. The very moment you enter something as objective as ethics in to a story you have lost its sincerity. The moment emotion intrudes on fact, verity is lost. Were they right to hack the phones of Milly Dowler's grieving family in order to spoon feed sentimental mush down the throats of its readers and long out a horrific incident for no other reason than to increase it's readership by playing on the heart-strings of caring people in a fashion so gross that it turns even the strongest of stomachs... arguably no. But they did it in an attempt to bring us truth, and truth is all that matters to the noblemen of the tabloid table. 

I leave you with this, is it right to cut open the chest of another man? "Why no, of course not" i hear you say... well what if your a surgeon and you're performing open heart surgery? Makes you think don't it. 

Woe.        

@defmoss83  

The Twats That Twit

Well its been awhile hasn't it, I was going to just not bother anymore, as i have such a deficit of talent for writing. But given today's social media outrage i have decided that regardless of a lack of intelligence and requisite ability to formulate ideas into cohesive passages of thought, that i would once more don the cap of ignorance and re-re-reintroduce the Aldershot Woes (again). So it is with great pleasure i present episode something of TAWA... The Twats That Twit. 

Twitter, on one hand a tool that allows popular thought and opinion to flourish. A public outlet of free-thought and ideas that is not censored or controlled by any media body or government and is seemingly free of agenda. A true vehicle of cultural democracy. But on the other hand... a weapon for hate filled morons to anonymously and surreptitiously fling the dung of fear and disdain at anyone they chose. Safe in the knowledge that they can remain cozy and safe behind the screens of their i-Phones. 

I should like to point out to anyone who is now drawing a comparison between my damnation of web-based hatred and keyboard cowardice and the hate filled blog i write on the web safely behind my keyboard, that i use a laptop and not an iPhone, because i'm old school... But seriously, i'm aware of the irony, that's kind of the point of it.

There have been many cases recently of this hatred in 140 or less characters resulting in police action and prosecution. The most notable of late are 2 beastly looking creatures from the North (typical) who appear to take "trolling" so seriously that they have both been able to incorporate the idea into their appearance. Their digital beef was with feminist Caroline Ciado-Perez for working to have Jane Austen as the new "face" of the good old £10 note, replacing bearded botherer of creationism Charles Darwin. These 2 tweeeters were such avid fans of Mr Darwin's work that rather than traditional feminist ribbing (you know classic lesbo jokes and invitations to "get back in the kitchen!" Hilarious) this abuse took a rather dark and rapey twist. However the pair have now pleaded guilty to being a couple of dicks and are to be sentenced to some prison time or a fine or something. The ultimate irony of the pairs tweet's, an example of which is "I've only just got out of prison and would happily do more time to see you berried!"  is that these 2 cast a shadow of doubt over Darwin's entire body of work...  can such people really be the result of 4.6 billion years of evolution?  

I had in my naivety considered the trolling problem to be one only perpetrated by social out-cast's and nerd's. Claiming a dominance over the digital playground they never had in the physical one. But today has shown that even the most level headed of people can resort to using Twitter to deliver irrational hatred. I am sorry to report this, but it looks like even good old footy fans have been micro-blogging bullshit. The most recent victim of large scale twit-buse is Stan Collymore, i know what your thinking, there are hundreds of really good reasons to smear hatred over Stan Collymore, he probably deserved it. Well you would be right, but also really really wrong. 

The reason Stan Collymore is getting horrific,.nasty, racist, threatening, abominable abuse is he suggested Luis Suarez may have gone down a bit easy to win a penalty... Both jokes aside, when you are so involved in your football team that when an experienced ex-player for your club damns you with faint and justified criticism you think that death threats and racism are a justified course of action, you really need help. 

In Collymore's defense he messaged Twitter directly and rather eloquently (especially when confined to the laws of twitter) asked why they were not doing more to combat this problem and why so many people were left free to bombard other people with the worst, vitriolic hate messages imaginable. Despite it actually being in contravene to the laws of the nation. So far Twitter are yet to respond, but in fairness it must be pretty hard to reasonably debate the complexities of free speech versus social responsibility within the confines of the 140 character system. 

And what do i think, well... I am an advocate of the freedom of speech, i think people should be free to say literally whatever they want. However i also hope that as a people we enlighten and educate ourselves to the position whereby even though people CAN say whatever they want...they are able to formulate an argument based on reason and honesty and have no need to fall back on the dark, the racist or the rapey, in order to get a message across.    

woe...

@defmoss83 (bring the hatred, you pussies)